The odd Adventures of Alya Dracus
by Ninja.Ashelh
Summary: A wildly witty Breton travels Skyrim on a quest to cause as much trouble as she can.


Vampires what a shitty lot, they just go around and bite people all damn day, and those mages don't you think its odd how they are always locked up in that college of their's throwing fire balls at each other. Ha! I was at a tavern once in Whiterun drinking some mead when out of no where this Giant came walking into town square, naturally I was amazed when he told the guards he was looking for a missing mammoth. Giants not a very bright lot, honestly what would a mammoth be doing in Whiterun, do you think it was picking up a silver necklace for it's mum for her birthday. Grate Talos what is wrong with these people… well granted I was pretty drunk.

The name's Alya, Alya Dracus I'm a Breton self taught rouge mage with a thirst for adventure I'd go on any quest, into any cave (unless there's spiders or vampires) travel any where in all of Tamriel for some coin if ya got it. Now I'm sure all of you are wondering where this all started, It was a cool spring day in Skyrim I was captured by the Imperials while I was hopping the border back into Skyrim, it's funny I was able to leave with out a trace but as soon as I come back there has to be a damn civil war, really guys what's up with that. People going around killing stuff with the voice don't you think it'd a disgrace to the Graybeards of their mountain top hang out. Well any way here I am in this cart (uncomfortable I might add) hands are bound I'm in raggedy clothes I stink worse then a horker when all of a sudden we stop in a town called Helgan. I'm like what? Why are we stopping here? When the guard tells us to shut up. Guards are so mean like really ya take an arrow to the knee once and it makes you a horrible got off the wagon one by one, when a real nice guy started reading off our names and telling us where to go, well he looks at me and tells me I'm not on the list, well Duh! I'm no Stormcloak traitor I was just minding my own bussiness when I was wrongly captured. Well the dude was understanding, but his commanding officer was a real piece of work this lady Imperial was 5 foot nothing and looked like an angry imp. Well let me tell ya she looked like one too. So I file my self in like awaiting my death thinking man this blows Sheagoraths dick when that lady Imperial starts talking about how crimes were committed against the government yadda yadda yadda, then some follower of meridia stars doing the last rights, very nicely I might add. When Lady Imperial tells her to get on with it. What! I would like my last rights thank you very much. Well the mean Lady Imperial calls the first victim to the chopping block. All sound stops, the wind is like a whisper through the trees and then...this blood curdling shriek is heard right when they cut off the guys head. now I've seen a few beheadings in my day so it was like being home watching the town entertainment, but the dude didn't make the noise everyone sound was…wait for it…. A DRAGON! Now I was completely surprised to see this gorgon eating badass killer over sized lizard thing shouting at us and breathing fire every where, oh did I mention I saw all of this as I was on the chopping block. Sheesh these Imperials are butt monkeys, so everything is on fire people are screaming and throwing things. Panic riots are pretty gruesome, as I was running up a stair case with my hands bound, yeah they were still bound I don't even know how I got up that stair case with out falling. I almost made it to the top arrows are searching for knees everywhere when this damn dragon pops his head through the damn wall like it was nothing and starts breathing fire every witch way. The flames coming from his maw licked their way across my face, at this point I was thinking whoa! That kinda hurts...a lot. I jump out the hole in the wall that the dragon made falling on the second level of a burning house, real safe huh? I'm running through Helgan hands still bound, honestly i don't know how i'm staying up right at this point. People are screaming and yelling, throwing babies and stabling each other with sweet rolls. Opp! there's that damn dragon again, really had to just land right in front of me like an ass hole. Hey look arguing people, maye i can piss them off more by choosing one side over the other to get out of this blasted town.


End file.
